Where did April go?
Grief work through creativity.
Sunday 4.27.25
April has been a blur of pink primrose dotting my wild no-till garden, pink wild azaleas leaning over the banks of the Ohoopee swamp along with the trumpet-shaped coral flowers of cross vine high in the tree tops and running along the broken off trees from Helene. Last fall I mourned the loss of trees in my swamp and worried over the gaping holes in the tree canopy but Mother Earth knows how to heal her broken places. The shady refuge in the swamp has been restored as the leaves have unfurled on the sweet gums, hickories, and maples. At the farm, my favorite live oak was glorious in its new spring green leaves.
And the birds…I fretted so over them because of the silence in the swamp for days after the storm. I was never a consistent bird feeder filler until Helene. Now it has become part of my weekly chores to keep the four feeders full and make sure they have fresh, clean water nearby. They have rewarded me with such an abundance of birdsong this spring! Prothonotary warblers and vireos in the swamp, along with my favorite melodic wood thrush up at the farm. Just yesterday I was hearing vireos at the farm and wondered if they followed me up there…it’s only a mile away.
***insert birdsong in the swamp audio clip
I’ve started so many seeds, propagated so many things, and potted up volunteer plants. I accidentally propagated a black willow that I was using as a stake for a clematis vine. I’ve been plant/seed shopping on Etsy. I’ve received blueberry plants, blackberry plants, tree spinach, black bamboo seeds, and african violets from all over the country. Last weekend I planted 40 heirloom tomatoes and 10 peppers in my no-till garden. Ken, my hubs, has corn and potatoes planted in a new garden space and today we planted out his other huge garden space in preparation for re-opening our farm stand. We’ve been raising a batch of cornish cross meat chickens which will be ready for freezer camp next weekend.
I’m not sure if it was because of the long, melancholy winter or the nitrogen-fixation from the snow storm of the south, but this spring has been especially verdant and vibrant. Sadly, there seems to be a marked decrease in honey bees around the farm. Our bait hives are still empty but just this week I’ve noticed a few bee girls buzzing around the hedge nettle and lavender, so I’m still hopeful for a swarm to find our place suitable.
On my creative side, I’ve been taking a one-hour Sunday journaling class with Janisse about the garden which led me to water color painting. I’ve gone from dabbling to all out drowning in this new creative endeavor. I’ve done a few sketches in the last year and never thought I had an artistic side. I do remember art being my favorite class in school but being a country kid, that wasn’t something that was encouraged or allowed to flourish.
I’m working hard to encourage creativity in my grandsons. My older grandson is non-verbal and I’ve wondered how I could leave him a written legacy if he never learns to read. He LOVES books and for him, I have decided I can paint pictures of all the things around here and in the swamp.
I’ve listened to a couple of good books this month:
Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver
And read so, so, so, so many good substack articles…here are a few:
My Daddy’s birthday was Friday. Even though he’s been gone for 20 years, the grief is still heavy on certain days. Now that I’m outliving the years on earth that he had, I wish he were here to advise me about this season of life. I know that my creative outlets are helping me to process my grief instead of stuffing it down pretending it’s not there or getting stuck in it for days at a time. I wonder if he would think my writing and artwork were just a waste of time or if he would understand that it allows feelings to flow through me instead of getting trapped in my heart and mind.
Thank you for being on this creative journey with me. I hope you enjoyed this small offering. Let me know in the comments if spring has your head spinning with joy like Maria in the Sound of Music, just replace “hills” with “swamp”. Fun fact: The Sound of Music was one of my Daddy’s favorite movies.
I go to the swamp
When my heart is lonely;
I know I will hear
What I’ve heard before—
My heart will be blessed
With the sound of music,
And I’ll sing once more.
Blessings!
💜B💜
I remember how after Katrina the lack of birds and bird song was one of many unsettling things. I’m glad yours are back! I love your photos and your art - so uplifting & inspiring. Enjoyed this post very much!
I really enjoyed listening to this on the Substack app in my car and then looking at it again to see the pictures. Thank you for linking to my post!