Rest and Retreat
while living in limbo.
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” —Martin Luther King Jr.
Monday, January 20, 2025
I ran away. I already had this weekend marked on the calendar as a Swamp Sanctuary escape since it’s a long holiday weekend, but as the weekend approached, I wasn’t sure I had the energy to do it. I knew I needed the change of scenery to alleviate the limbo I’ve been in since Thursday, January 9th. The weather was going to be rainy on Saturday, windy on Sunday with freezing temperatures overnight. My small abode in the swamp doesn’t hold heat well, so it can be a bit uncomfortable when the temperature dips below 40. I spent an hour down here late Friday afternoon and wanted to stay the night but I didn’t have my stuff together. Ken was disinterested in staying this weekend due to the weather. Saturday, I decided I would spend the night in the swamp without him. I made a promise to this place that I will spend at least one night a month here. Making this possible was a year-long remodeling journey that still has FAR to go and I was determined to keep the momentum going and not abandon my dreams for this place.
Before I left my home, just a mile up the road, I made sure I cooked us a good dinner of pure comfort food…fried chicken, stewed chicken, rice and brown gravy, and fresh cabbage from the garden. I also baked a banana bread, touted to be The Best Banana Bread Ever on the bag of flour. I cleaned up the kitchen at home, packed a few items, loaded them in my Outback along with Ruby, my red heeler, and we made a short five minute journey down to the swamp.
I was exhausted from all the cooking and cleaning I had been doing at home, so we spent the afternoon rocking and birdwatching on the porch and turned in early to read in bed. I stayed up until 10 PM reading about a little boy growing up in Ceylon (aka Sri Lanka) who dreamed of being a celebrated monk.
Sunday morning I was up before the sun. I made the bed, got some coffee percolating, and finished my golden chunky chenille throw blanket I had started a few weeks ago all while watching the birds out the windows. I think my love of this place is because it reminds me so much of spending the night at my Granny’s home when I was a child. The windows were always open and we were surrounded by bird activity. There are no window coverings in the swamp sanctuary, and it is surrounded by tall pines, hickories, magnolias, oaks and sweet gums. It’s such a peaceful feeling walking into any room and seeing a squirrel scamper across a broken off tree or a downy woodpecker scoot up a tree just outside the window. Sometimes I wonder if they’re watching me as much as I watch them.
I spent some time journaling the dreams I had the night before and I made an abstract drawing and sat with my colored pencils for awhile and then got started on another chunky blanket for the grandboys. Around lunchtime, Ruby and I headed back home for a bit to check on things, and grab a bite to eat but I already knew I needed another night in the swamp. I tried to convince Ken to come but he had to work the next day, so he declined. I felt a pang of guilt leaving him alone for a second night, but I knew I needed this time to take care of me and keep my mind off the uncertainty I’ve been going through over the last week.
When we got back to our retreat in the swamp, I decided I wanted to cut a few small oak limbs and try out the wood stove. I was a bit hesitant because it had not been fired up in over five years and I was worried it might not draw like it should because the flue may be stopped up with dabber, wasp, or bird nests. First I tried just burning some paper in it and it drew the smoke right up and out, then we headed out to the oak that Helene uprooted across our easement to Grandpa’s old river house. Using my hand held chainsaw, I cut us a nice little stack of firewood. We then meandered down the trail I made along the old bridge road to visit with Mother Oak and the Seeing Tree next to the full river. I have also discovered a young magnolia which I have cleaned up around and have now dubbed Mother Magnolia. I pray my grandchildren enjoy her shade for years to come.
Returning to the house, we filled all the bird feeders in the front and backyard and went inside for the evening. I participated in an online journaling course which sparked more creativity.
Ruby and I enjoyed a small fire in the wood stove. As I sat watching the flames dance, I thought to myself what a blessing this tree continues to be. It once stood tall for decades providing shade in my swamp but now it is providing heat in the wood stove thanks to that unprecedented hurricane Helene. The ashes I collect from this fire will be strewn across a flower bed where it will continue to be a blessing of nutrients for more plants or trees.
Once the fire burned low, we turned in for more reading time before falling asleep. It got COLD overnight! I woke up around 2AM and saw the Third Quarter Moon peeking at me through the bare branches of the trees. At 5AM my weekday alarm awakened me. I stayed in bed where it was warm and cuddly and finished my book, feeling inspired by metta (compassion for oneself and others) and accepting of impermanence (all things are in a constant state of change). What a life Bhante Gunaratana has lived in his ninety-seven years.
We stayed in bed until the world outside was illuminated. I took Ruby out to do her business and noticed the temperature was 24 degrees. Being out there made the 52 degrees in the house not feel so cold. I percolated coffee and drank a couple of cups while I finished my grandson’s blanket and watched the birds have a feeding frenzy in the front yard. There must've been a dozen cardinals, chickadees, titmice, and goldfinches.
Now it’s time to head back home and get ready for an arctic blast in the south this week with possible sleet, snow, or ice tomorrow night. Since the daytime temperatures aren’t expected to rise much above freezing, that will probably shut down south Georgia for at least a day.
I hope you all are wintering well. I’m looking forward to the return of the light and warmth. Praying my limbo ends soon, but feeling much rested and ready to keep moving forward!
💜Blessings💜
Thank you for taking us into the swamp with you, and for sharing the little sacred moments of your day. I pray blessings over Mother Magnolia. And blessings over your continued path through life.
Becky, I enjoyed following this retreat with you. Listening to your stories reminds me of reading Little House in the Big Woods as a child. You are a modern pioneer. It was nice to see your smiling face Sunday evening. I’m looking forward to multiple face times next week! You are an inspiration.