A Five Things Essay
and a tarot reading.
In my writing class, I’ve been introduced to The Five Things Essay from Susan Brennan, as a way to unblock or come up with new ideas. I was just reading through my notes from class yesterday and decided to develop further the five things I wrote in class. Once I did that, a block I was having related to another writing project, completely unrelated from this, was gone and I sat down, not at my writing desk but in the kitchen, and a hand written five page story flowed out of me. Ken, my husband, came in the back door saying, “Why are you sitting in the same spot I left you in an hour ago?”. I didn’t have time to explain to him that when you’ve been mulling something over in your mind for two weeks and it finally comes together, you’ve got to sit down and let it out. That story will be published at a later date, but for your reading pleasure, I offer you my “five things” from this week. Also, as a bonus, since the new moon was on Friday, I’ve included my tarot affirmations.
My Five Things Essay for the week of February 5, 2024
The loss of a country music icon threw me into a week of nostalgia. The music of Toby Keith was our sound track in the early 1990’s. A time in our life when we were just starting out in the world on our own. We were young and dumb but thought we knew it all. His songs were our anthems. “How do you like me now?” “Wish I didn’t know now” “Does that Blue Moon Ever Shine on You?” “Should’ve been a Cowboy” Life was much less stressful then it seems, but was it really? Perhaps not, just different stresses that seem minute from this vantage point, 30 years later.
I’m concerned for my health. I feel like there is something wrong with my GI tract. I’ll be 52 years old this year, the same age my father was when he died of lung cancer. I’ve lived my life in fear of cancer since it has taken so many close family members, Daddy’s sister, Granny’s sister, Grandpa, and Daddy. It’s been the driving force behind wanting to raise my own whole, organic food. All the screening tests are scheduled, now we wait.
I feel like I’m in an existential crisis or is it perhaps a transition? When it started I thought it was a transition but it’s been going on almost two years now. I keep hearing the Who singing in my ear: “Who are you? Who, who, who, who?” I attended a party where there were new people to meet, new acquaintances to make but how do I introduce myself? I opted to hang out with the musicians to avoid the small talk. Who am I? Where am I heading? A feeling of detachment from my former self. Who will I become? I’ve watched YouTube videos I made just a few years ago and I don’t know who that person is anymore.
My garden as a metaphor for my current feelings of life. All grown over with dead and dried debris, but if you look closely, you can see the return of life. The lavender periwinkle that I dug up from Granny’s yard years ago, the yellow jonquils that were planted around the perimeter of the old porch, which is now my office, by some family member years ago, that I moved out to my garden to save. I suspect they were originally planted by my Grandma Elaine, who lived and died here at the age of 52. Tiny white strawberry blooms which will grow juicy red strawberries that are my grandsons’ favorite, but will the loss of my bees this winter affect their production? Little green seedlings of future flowers and herbs hidden in the under brush of my abandoned garden.
The river and flooded swamp as a metaphor for my current feelings of life. Trees bare, seemingly lifeless. River full, pushed out into the swamps and sloughs. Where is the run of the river? It’s still there. The under currents are strong. They could pull a man under and drown them. This happened years ago when they used to run logging rafts down the river to the mills. A man washed up on the landing next to where my Grandpa’s old river house currently sits. Now we call that Dead Man’s Landing. My thoughts are like the under current and sometimes they would like to pull me under, but I’m staying in the safe sanctuary of the swamp instead. A place for refuge and reflection. A place of rest and grace.
Tarot Reading for the New Moon
I decided to just focus on the affirmations of each card I pulled today. I think of the affirmations as a message the universe needs me to hear.
Ace of Cups- “My heart leads me to what will fulfill me most, to discover my personal holy grail.”
King of Cups- “I lead by example and conquer with my diplomacy.”
Four of Pentacles- “I am prudent with my resources, but not miserly. I create prosperity by sharing with others.”
I will practice these affirmations daily until the next new moon.
For more information on the deck I use and my interpretation book, read this post.
I pray you have a blessed week. I’ll keep the sounds of the swamp as a soundtrack in my head to remind me…spring is coming. Thoughts or comments welcome.
B